I’LL NEVER EAT BEANS AND BREAD

I ’LL NEVER EAT BEANS AND BREAD

I returned from work very late yesterday. As a result, the food left for me became bad. I thought about going to bed with an empty stomach, but the fact that I had a journey to make in the early hours of the morning made me leave home in order to get some food outside.

I headed for the junction. Perhaps, I could get something there.

As usual, a good number of people had left the junction. Few traders lingered on waiting for ‘the rush hour’ customers like myself. Fortunately, I came upon them.

The only food left was beans. Have I ever told you I hate beans with passion? OMG!!! That’s a story for another day.

I was very hungry to say the least. Hence, I asked for a plate and looked for a seat.

Two minutes later, I found myself forcing some spoons filled with beans  into my mouth. What a sight. I hurriedly ate my plate of beans and made for home. On my way home, a bought a loaf of bread and topped it with a bottle of coke.

I woke up the next morning at about 4:00am and booked a bus that was meant to take me to Jos, Plateau State. The driver of our bus gave us two instructions before our journey began;

 

1. He wasn’t going to stop on the way for anybody.
2. He wasn’t going to stop on the way for any reason.

Few minutes into our journey, I felt  a very hard  kick in my stomach. Dear brethren, that was the beginning of wahala (ordeal).

For a second, I thought it was a fart. No, it wasn’t. I was in some deep sh*t.

I sat very quietly in the bus. I prayed and hoped the bus would develop a fault somewhere so we’d be asked to alight and allow a mechanic make some repairs. If wishes were horses…

I didn’t contribute to any gists in the bus. I didn’t even laugh at jokes. I was very careful. I prayed God to help me to not pee and ‘poo’ in the bus.

God did answer my prayers.

A pregnant woman started complaining about feeling an urge to pee. Only the devil would refuse a pregnant woman’s request. Our driver wasn’t a devil. We all dropped and took some relief in the bush nearby.

God didn’t put me to shame. He shamed my enemies instead.

Since that day, I made a resolution; I’LL NEVER EAT BEANS AND BREAD.

It’s a wrong combo.