Seeing the achievements of friends should also feel happy, right? However, many people feel jealous or insecure can time they see the posts of friends, there are those who have had thesis trials, graduations, get a job, vacation, marriage, and others. This feeling triggers not wanting to open social media anymore because it is considered that the content is just people showing off.
Feelings of envy arise when you are feeling inferior or unaware of yourself. Don't let this feeling bother you to continue to develop and achieve your goals. Therefore, see the explanation below.
What is Insecure?
Insecure is a problem in the self that is described as fear, anxiety, low self-esteem, instability, lack of feeling safe, feeling threatened, and lacking social support (Vornanen, Torronen, & Niemela, 2009).
According to the American Psychological Association, insecurity is a feeling of inadequacy, lack of self-confidence, inability to overcome uncertainty, anxiety about life goals, and anxiety to interact with others.
External factors such as education, working life, living environment, and social status can lead to insecurity. Society indirectly has a standard of achievement for a person. If personal conditions have not reached people's expectations, it triggers a sense of insecurity.
For example, society considers that the age of 25 is natural to have a permanent job, start building a house, and get married. If at that age it has not met people's expectations, it is considered unsuccessful. In fact, each person has different plans and processes.
How to Overcome Insecure
Insecure often occurs when comparing oneself with others. Being insecure can also have a negative impact on yourself. Therefore, here's how not to be insecure:
1. Focus on the advantages
Everyone must have advantages and disadvantages. Whether in terms of skill or character. Focus on the advantages and maximize the potential that exists in oneself. Lack is not an excuse not to develop, but rather a motivation to become a better person. To overcome feelings of inferiority, understand that life cannot be measured by financial or career success alone, but there are many other factors.
If you are still not aware of your own strengths, it is necessary to reflect or ask questions to others. One way to eliminate insecurity is to have self-awareness which functions as an important aspect to develop self-excess.
2. Understand individual differences
Humans around the world have their own uniqueness and advantages. Individuals cannot be compared because everyone has a different character.
Examples are great figures in Indonesia named Rudy consisting including Rudy Hartono, Rudy Hadisuwarno, Rudy Habibie, Rudy Salam & Rudy Choiruddin. They are badminton athletes, hairdressers, scientists, actors, and cooks. They have the same name but have different advantages and are successful in their respective fields.
When focusing on self-strength, the ability will continue to be honed and become more and more expert. So, there is no need to compare with each other because differences cannot be compared.
3. Change the perception of success
We often see the success of others from objective, standardized and measurable things. Such as salary, place of work, job title, and others. In fact, success is not only an objective thing but a subjective one. Often comparing yourself to others is a source of overthinking, something that can make you unhappy.
Subjective success is relative. Successful people are seen in work happiness, life satisfaction, meaningfulness, and others. But unfortunately, this is not visible in real terms.
People are easier to see objective achievements and forget about subjective things. A person who has a high position and abundant wealth does not necessarily experience happiness in life. So, there is no need to compare with others because many aspects are unknown.
Not having a partner should also not be a source of insecurities. You can still be happy without a boyfriend if you have the right mindset in looking at life.
4. Make a plan with details
As explained above, insecurity can be out of fear of future goals and uncertain things. To overcome this, it is better to make macro plans and then make small plans. In addition, make a plan Borplan to be better prepared to face obstacles.
5. Appreciate every step of the way
When the plan is well designed, it turns out that reality is not as easy as imagined. There are many obstacles in life to achieving success.
To eliminate the sense of insecurity towards oneself, when feeling down look back to appreciate every small step that has been passed. When we get praise, we will be triggered to get back on our feet and get excited to achieve our goals.
6. Learn from the successes of others
Seeing others succeed there will be two responses which are insecure or motivated. The success of others is better used as an impetus to move forward. The experience of a successful person can be used as learning.
Think like this:
"If he can, then I can too."
"He's just been down many times but can get up, I can do it too"
Human beings have eyes and ears so that they can see and hear the achievements of others. But keep in mind that human beings have a brain capable of controlling our thoughts and not comparing ourselves with others. When the mind is under control, the feeling of insecurity can disappear slowly.
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Thanks for this great article 👍
thank you my sis