The topic of forgiveness is in demand and popularized now more than ever. There is a lot of talk about the importance and necessity of apologies now. However, my observations lead me to conclude that despite the fact that today people are beginning to understand more and more deeply the importance of this process, they really realize that there is only a few forgiveness.
Many practice such generous forgiveness of abusers, but few recognize their own responsibility for the conflict that has arisen. The other half forgives, endlessly asks for forgiveness from almost the whole world, trying to get rid of the weight of their guilt, but is in no hurry to extinguish their own resentment against another person on the other side of the barricade.
Such one-sided "forgiveness", throwing from one extreme to the other, either does not bring the desired results at all, or relief is so short-term that after a very short period of time, a similar situation occurs again. My mother once asked me, " how do you learn to forgive? How does it feel to forgive another person?"Perhaps not everyone will agree with my version of the answer to this question.
For a truly effective result, you need to both forgive and ask for forgiveness. Ask for forgiveness, even if everyone around us unanimously says that there is no fault in all this, that the fault of the opponent is absolutely "obvious", ask for forgiveness especially if it seems completely unfair, illogical, impossible. Here we are not talking about who is to blame to a greater or lesser extent.
Both, all parties, everyone and everyone who is in the situation are to blame; they are to blame and have already been punished by the very presence of a problem, a conflict. For any conflict, any problem, as a result of which resentment and/or guilt have settled deep in the hearts and souls, all parties, each participant in it is always responsible.
Deeply and sincerely forgiving another person, regardless of the size of his visible "contribution" to the current situation, we relieve a huge internal tension, dissolve the deep emotional charge, thereby purifying, freeing, healing both the inner space and the entire body as a whole. When we apologize to our opponent, we essentially recognize and accept responsibility for our role in creating the conflict, thereby preventing similar situations from happening again in the future.
Even if it is completely unclear to us what specific thoughts, emotions, and actions we contributed to the creation of the problem situation, we are still its co-authors, co-creators, like our opponents; it does not matter at all who appears to be the victim and who is the tormentor in it. When the situation is very difficult and neglected, or when for some reason it is not possible or simply dangerous to ask for forgiveness in person, you can perform this as a meditative practice, imagining your abuser standing in front of you and addressing his soul.
You can ask a friend to play the role of this person... Now there are many effective methods of forgiveness, but the deeper the understanding of its very essence, the more effective its results are. It is the balance of responsibility distribution that is key to the forgiveness process. By realizing that the responsibility for a problem situation lies with each of its participants, you can create your own forgiveness technique and successfully heal yourself and your loved ones.
404.220 SRY