Some people are extremely sensitive to being rejected by their loved ones. How do I deal with rejection? Psychologists believe that it is necessary to overcome negative experiences and adequately resist pain.
Rejection causes many negative physiological and psychological reactions. By far the greatest pain occurs in adolescents and young adults who are inexperienced in life. Know how to deal with rejection and what to do to reduce the pain associated with it.
Causes and consequences of rejection
According to research by evolutionists and psychologists, in ancient times, refusal was tantamount to sentencing a person to death. This means that the reaction of modern humans to such situations may be due to evolutionary factors, as well as fear and anxiety of loneliness.
It is recognized that a person is a social creature that needs other people to function and acquire various resources. Refusal can occur in a wide variety of situations, both in professional and personal life. Rejection is most painful for children who are mistreated by their parents. Peer abandonment or first love in adolescence is also of particular importance. Such events can have serious psychological consequences, but their consequences are not always negative. It happens that rejected people achieve a lot in life, because they know that they have to cope on their own.
In working life, the refusal can relate to both the job interview and the submitted work samples, as well as contacts with colleagues. Interestingly, rejection extends to famous and popular people who have achieved a lot in their lives. An example is the author of the Harry Potter series, the publication of which was delayed due to the refusal of many publishers. The world famous Oprah Winfrey, in turn, was fired from her first job, but she did not give up and became the favorite TV presenter of millions of viewers.
So how do you deal with rejection effectively? Understanding the positive and negative consequences of each experience, rather than a pessimistic view of the world, is of great importance here. So rejection can be one of the factors in achieving success in life.
Coping with rejection: ways
When considering specific methods of dealing with rejection, several of the most effective can be distinguished:
- crying, screaming, allowing yourself to be angry and sad, thereby reducing the level of bad emotions - experiencing these emotions is necessary in order to know yourself, talk with other people, seek social support, which is a suitable method in a situation where the rejected person is real friends or family but the manifestation of their feelings may subject them to further refusal;
- participation in other activities, for example, study, work, volunteering;
- acceptance of yourself and your feelings and understanding that rejected people do not deserve to be called our friends or life partners;
- transformation of the meaning of the situation into a positive one, for example, the recognition that, being rejected by friends, we can find others.
Finding a purpose in your life is especially important in dealing with rejection. It happens that single people devote themselves to study or work, as well as achieving better financial results. It is these individuals who are able to get what they dream of and achieve real success. It is also important to create a social support network that includes family and friends you can trust.
It is important to know that rejection is felt on the physical level, similar to a threat to health or life, so many people get out of this situation in accordance with the response: "fight or flight." In fact, a much better solution is to fight, enter into social relations, and also seek the mentioned life purpose. Survival in difficult situations and patience are very important elements in helping you achieve your goals. At times like a job interview or first date, it's worth reflecting on your positive qualities, write them down on a piece of paper, and reiterate the self-confidence that keeps the person from being rejected by giving the impression of a strong spirit.