She came back asking :

Why are you constantly burning you nerves , why are you always wild….fierce … impulsive….revolting…violent…..without any friends… you are in short, so close to being a savage barbarian human being? I looked at her and smiled….lit my usual cigarette, and deeply inhaled it in an attempt to cover the pain of her question ( Is this the way you see me my dear?)…To be honest I was crying inside…. If only you could feel it. I will not dodge or deny any of these attributes that you have pointed out to me. Why? Because I’m simply a nice person… a nice person in a merciless age … an age when people discover that you are a nice harmless person, you end up under their feet…. You just don’t deserve to live…don’t deserve to breath…don’t deserve to love….you don’t deserve to feel… you don’t deserve to own anything….you become subject to covet….they covet your money, your beloved one …. And your only sin … is the nice, kind and peaceful person that you are… which is nothing but a weak pathetic … idiot … a dead walking body in their eyes. I turned off my cigarette….intensively released the last breath That savage person that you are talking about, have only one façade instead of thousands, that fierce savage human being …..is fighting to live proud…to keep his right….of breathing, living, and loving….Inside this fierce savage person …an aching one….that bleeds in silence…..with only one hope in this life … which is dying in peace.